| Sunday, February 25th, 2007 |
| 9:23 am |
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| Sunday, October 1st, 2006 |
| 12:09 am |
Retrospect and Goodbye
Certain Movies make me cry. The ones that do usually touch a personal chord with me about some ideal or typical emotion that any one else probably feels. But when I watch them I feel as if mine are completely unique. Tonight it was Fried Green Tomatoes. This movie makes me think about all of my friends that Ive ever met. All of my experiences, emotions, good times and bad memories flash through my head. Sitting on the dock with Michael watching the sunset while sipping a few cold beers and some freshly cooked fish. My friend Jamie accidentally slapping the glasses off my face and crushing them during a game of basketball. Watching Nathan hold on and win the Future Masters golf tournament. Breaking a window at Billys house playing baseball and he breaking my brothers cars windshield 3 years later doing the same. I still remember the phone numbers to their parents houses. I think about where they are and what they are doing at this moment. I'm lucky enough to get to see them every 6 months or so, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough time. We have drifted apart and I painfully know that most of it was my fault. As I sit alone in my apartment I can't help but feel as if I've been trying to find myself emotionally for the past 7 years. The resolution of my schooling is only forcing the matter upon me. Forcing me to think about what is real..and what is not. Ive been lingering with this thought for quite some time. As much pleasure as it brings me when I am alone, none of it is real. I miss Michael. I miss Billy. I miss Nathan. I miss Jamie. I miss my friends in Atlanta. For some reason I have been hiding from them for some time, but they are more real than anything I can find here. Why do I share my life with total strangers expecting some sort of gratification or understanding when all I usually get is silence? Why should I expect anything out of you people when I know you expect nothing out of me. I feel out of place here, and I feel ashamed for not sharing myself with with my true friends. For the last 6 years I have been a character that I have thoroughly enjoyed playing. He is a part of me that I will now only share with those few folks that know him and the real me. I cant just throw him out since Ive known him for 25 percent of my life. He just needs to learn to appreciate what is real. I have my family. I have my friends. They would give me all of the love in the world if I would only let them. And to do that I have to make some room. I am sorry if this hurts some of you. But if you have never called me by my real name then you wont be missing me much anyways. Most of this is my fault for hiding behind my character for so long and for that Im sorry. Im making a new Screenname and will share it only with those that I feel I should know for the rest of my lifetime. I promise to never take you for granted because it hurts sometimes to be away for so long. This journal will not be Deleted...but It will not be updated anymore. Take Care. |
| Friday, September 29th, 2006 |
| 10:30 pm |
June cant come soon enough
My mother got a letter for me from CVS today. I figured it was the early commit letter, but it turns out to be a full blown offer. I am not gonna say what salary they offered me, but lets just say it was about 20 percent higher than I expected for the region they want to put me in (Pensacola). My jaw hit the floor when my mother read the letter to me, and then it hit me... Jesus fucking christ Ive almost made it... |
| Thursday, September 28th, 2006 |
| 12:52 pm |
B.O.
I got home after goin out for some lunch. I noticed I had the smell of BO lingering on me. Now..I dont have BO..then it hit me, Quiznos makes you smell like BO! Those damn onions they use, which I didnt even put on my sandwich, permeated the whole place and now I have to pay for it.... |
| 10:01 am |
Cleaning!
I guess my apartment is clean enough. Nbowa is visiting tonite for a few days of regular golf and also disk golf. I dont really have any furniture per se...just a small papasan recliner and two table chairs...I have no video games... *gasp! A 'furry' with not one system in his apartment'*...so Im gonna try to keep us out of the apartment for as much as possible! |
| Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 |
| 10:52 pm |
Grunts
That last question was a big mistake. In usual conversation its ok..but suddenly I have images of each individual on my friends list wiping their ass..not to mention Ive never even seen your asses so my imagination is sickeningly running wild... Gotta think of something else... VONAGE!!!! |
| 9:36 am |
Another POLL!!
Heres another topic Ive often discussed with friends when drunk. OK..maybe I was sober...but it is still an important issue! Poll #831261 Crumple or Fold?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 35 Do you like to crumple or fold? |
| Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 |
| 12:12 pm |
POLL!! That word looks funny...
Heres a question I pondered while in the shower today. Personally I like it sideways... Poll #830581 What is your shower orientation?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 36 When showering, how are you oriented in relation to the flow of hot steamy water? |
| Sunday, September 24th, 2006 |
| 10:47 pm |
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| 7:57 pm |
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| Friday, September 22nd, 2006 |
| 10:28 pm |
Crisping Sleeves
You ever notice that its the Crisping Sleeve that gets crispy and not the hot pocket its wrapped around? |
| Thursday, September 21st, 2006 |
| 10:31 pm |
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| Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 |
| 10:51 pm |
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| 9:12 pm |
Thai Coup
A Thai Coup...inspired by world events.. Spicy food in dish Chinese, Japanese. Oh No. Thai food. Its got zing. Whats your Thai Coup? |
| Monday, September 18th, 2006 |
| 9:58 pm |
Rozerem!
I love that commercial..the talking beaver is so damned cute!!!! Anyways..weekend was awesome. Kicked ass on the golf course in our schools tourney. Played with three District Managers for CVS and impressed them duly. We ended up winning second place, and as my regional DM said, "I dont care what your teachers say. Im writing an essay on my new hero, and his name is (insert my name here)" I replied, "Don't bother. Too many people have written that essay." Modesty goes a long way :) Furry life went well too. Hung out with Zexyz, Brophey, Santyth, Ollis, Meph and Rasslor. Had many laughs over dinner when the 7 of us argued over "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" and how it is supposed to be said... Next night Zexyz, Brophey and Rasslor accompanied me by Rasslors request at a delicious and kitchy Italian place up in Alpharetta named....something Italian. I was a fan of the pork with blueberries and capers sauce. I still dont know what a caper is. |
| Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 |
| 1:45 pm |
I LOVE IT!!
Oh I see...turning away models for being heavy isnt discrimination..but the moment the thin ones (30 percent of the models at this show) are turned away for not promoting a 'healthy image' they bitch and moan. They have medics on site to measure models BMI..and if it is too low they are not allowed to model..just the same I assume as if it were too high. So get over it waifes! Eat something! From an article at CNN.com "I think its outrageous, I understand they want to set this tone of healthy beautiful women, but what about discrimination against the model and what about the freedom of the designer," said Gould, Elite's North America director, adding that the move could harm careers of naturally "gazelle-like" models. |
| Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 |
| 9:43 pm |
My favorite conversation!
This has been my favorite conversation as of late with a few folks.. Me: Hihi Them: Hey Me: Hows it going? End of conversation! Listen..if yer too busy to talk, follow up the question 'Hows it goin?' with the answer "ugh! so busy! Can I talk to you later?" or even "Look..I really dont like talking to you anymore...leave me alone forever mmkay?" Not too hard. |
| Monday, September 11th, 2006 |
| 8:05 pm |
Where were you..
I was in the basement of our furry house in Decatur when the first plane hit. I didnt even know what happened when i turned on my computer, and a furry 'friend' from Canada messaged me saying "America was going to war'. He told me the plane had hit, and was quick to say that it was about time America got what it deserved. Wow. Appreciate it. Go fuck yourself I told him and havent spoken since. So I ran upstairs to see the rest of the house watching the newscast when the second plane hit. It was very baffling. After an hour or so I decided to go out and get food...and the whole world seemed different. The streets were almost empty..and the people I did see had a blank look on their face, like a bit of their identity had been stripped away. On a slightly related note: Im still waiting for all those people to move to Canada that said they would should Bush get re-elected. |
| Thursday, September 7th, 2006 |
| 11:21 pm |
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| 9:25 pm |
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delako's journal
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